i'll do anything to see you smile

grass, lianas, and the killer weeds that destroyed it all.

2009-08-16T19:42:00.000+08:00

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God knows we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

The song says it all, and yeah, I really mean this.

2009-08-06T22:26:00.000+08:00

I should have stuck with my decisions in june. Now look what happens when I follow my heart instead of my mind? Since it's my fault for not sticking with my own decisions,I'll pay the consequences this time. It's not happening again.

--

Qing, thanks for being there today.
I'm so sorry if i made you panic or worried cos you've never heard me in that state before.
But thanks love.

Alvan, thanks for always randomly analysing my pm and asking me how my day went and all. You always ask me questions so in depth that i end up forgetting my shitty problems to laugh at you.Thanks. I'm feeling better already, so I'm chilled!

Eighty odd days to the goal of this year. I'm gonna hit it, watch me.

j, you make me smile.

2009-07-09T19:25:00.002+08:00

I wanna drop out of school and take the big Os as a private candidate.
But I can't.
So, it's okay.
I'll just do it with j ♥

2009-07-07T19:39:00.002+08:00

I came home, and now I'm here.
I dug back our chat history,
and found the blog where you kept memories of 08.

I found my name,
amongst our happy escapades.
I looked down at the keyboard,
And blamed myself.

I don't like looking straight at you,
yes.
This isn't something that is forced upon me,
It's a conscious choice.

A choice,
that I am making,
for me.
This once.

i miss bernice, jasmine and juan.
so badly.

tomorrow is love's day.

2009-06-08T22:53:00.002+08:00

Stop it with not taking me seriously, please? I really don't like it.

Tomorrow's gonna ba a great day, meeting love after school. HAPPY HAPPY.

CAN'T WAIT.

weaker than you think.

2009-05-25T19:14:00.001+08:00

My grades are screwed,
my mind too.
I'm scared,
anything you wanna do to make things worse?
Hit me.

b'cosofyou.

2009-05-22T21:29:00.005+08:00

Let me say this for the millionth time, this week, was so tiring.

Chinese marks were so extremely horrible, social studies was screwed too. And topping off the worst- event list today, Amath was screwed as well. I freaking don't know why. I mean, I really don't care if they paper was difficult or challenging or whatever, but once it's screwed, yeah boy, it is.

Chinese IR was kinda productive for one. That madeline cheong teacher is kinda goooood. And she's got sharp ears. I was mumbling to myself about the meaning of the words when we were going through the answers, and she kept going through the words I wanted to know. Then, I finally realised she could hear us, all the way from the corner! Thankfully, her eyes aren't all that sharp, I was enjoying chocolate oreo, in the com lab(:

Drama was totally off on thursday. I screwed up the lines, and my blocking. I mean, what else could get better? I'm hell scared for monday, and shit shit shit scared for tuesday. Not to mention internal group issues. I'm at fault.

I can't do chinese. And I don't know how I'm gonna save myself, or even, attempt to do so.

I said what I've said. Where can't you just face up and like, get on with it!? I'm annoyed at you, yes I am. But you still make me laugh.

I shall go mope. Because

1) I have to face siow tomorrow; he have me a sad smiley when he texted me. Gosh):
2) I have chinese tuition. I don't wanna see my lao shi, cos I'm gonna get stressed.
3) I'm tempted to sleep, but i just slept for 2 hours prior to now.
4) I'm having internal issues; Someone needs to save me. but not you.
5) Everyone's talking about Adam Lambert's loss, and freaking not Kris Allen's win. ):
6) I feel fat and pasty.
7) I'm scared to look at my lines.

That gives me enough reason to climb back into bed, and stare at my pretty flower balloon.
~~MY FLOWER BALLOON HAS NO MORE CENTRE AND HAS ONLY 3 PETALS COS THE OTHER 2 PETALS AND THE CENTRE SHRUNK.~~

you.

2009-05-17T19:04:00.002+08:00

It's so hard to be your friend,
but I'm not going to give up,
only because of two reasons.
Because you are my friend,
and because you were a friend to me.

i've got to stop it, God help me.

2009-05-15T21:18:00.002+08:00

I know I'm not supposed to be mad, or annoyed, or upset. But I really can't help it. I'm tired from going through this day and night and containing it in. But it's not as though as I can tell anyone, you know what I mean?

It's horrible.

Chines Os in two weeks. My ass refuses to budge to do my chinese homework for tomorrow. I can only think about, that.

Can't wait for badminton tomorrow. Confirmation service on sunday, then monday will be the day I see my first paper, which shall be a failure.

Gosh, someone save me.

balloons and their white strings

2009-05-13T23:07:00.003+08:00

I miss my yellow balloon. It burst. I burst it accidentally.

On a side note, I think today's drama paper Hopefully, tomorrow will be a good day too. I mean, ruined plans which was the highlight of your week can't get much better. wait, can it?

-let go of that string, it'll cut you.
you know it will, don't you?was gooooood. I finally felt the happiness from the play, and it came from within! Really pleased about that, plus I'm not gonna worry too much for the results, I mean, I did get my joy from it, and that's just about enough to keep me happy~~(for now at least!)~~

Went down to town with fab f, walked around loads. Great exercise, if I must say so myself. Bus ride was long, and carefree, with out the stress from mid years! 3 hours at siow's after that, proud and surprised at myself for making that choice: way to go!

becks, hot becks.

2009-05-14T10:59:00.002+08:00

''I don't flirt with other women- I exist only for Victoria.''

I mean, hoooooww much hotter can he possibly get?

q,loves.

2009-05-15T11:28:00.003+08:00

It's alright if the post is late, I know school's a killer.

You did fulfill your responsibility as a friend, and moreover, that of a sister. Remember all the hand-made cards, mailed postcards, gifts and texts of prayers, morning messages, all- the- best- for- your- exams messages and goodnight messages?

We weren't there for each other, that was true. With school, the stress and our own priorities, it gets really tough.

I'm sorry too, if you felt too tired and I wasn't there to understand. I'm sorry if you couldn't hold out and yet you had to hold out for me.

You don't have to apologise for the downs in our friendship. Because, every friendship has a fair share of ups, and downs. These bring us closer, and strengthens our friendship even more. So I guess, this is just one of the many we'll have to go through.

I'm sorry too, for not keeping up with you and being so cold even when you do call to cheer me up with playing the piano through the phone or try your best to initiate conversation.

You'll always be the q that I know and I'll accept you the way you are too. I know you do feel uncomfortable knowing I feel inferior, and that's alright, cos' really, I'm fine and when I'm not, I'll always get by and be fine.

Just like you, I want you to know too, that I'm gonna be here always. I too regret for not keeping up this friendship, and most importantly not keeping up with you.

And q, I really miss you too.

Love,

sherry.

crushed

2009-05-12T21:58:00.001+08:00

what you see,
is what you get,
from me.

when love falls like acid rain,

2009-05-09T23:02:00.003+08:00

Someone suggested a picture up on the blog, so there's a random one from sports day!

The exams have just made the past week so draining, with much mugging, scarily tough geog paper, bearable e&amath papers and loads of other details which i'd rather just not mention here.

Mini outing with the two after paper on friday, thai express was fun, not forgetting the lovely tom yam noodles!(:

Came home to sleep for super long, and that was greatly needed. Skipped math tuition today, but lao shi and I had cheena lesson today. OH NO, CHEENA OS ARE UP NEXT):

Had a wonderful great session of badminton with adult cell, which was awesome fun, heeheexzxzx.

Had dinner at billy bentley's with the family, good fun, and nice lamb racks! My daddy was telling me how I was like when I was a baby, that was all fun, fun!

Church tomorrow, meeting fishyy loves for crap time and we're gonna watch auntie and pastor dance, coolest yeah(:

I'm gonna print stuff for my love love now, then sleep time(:

P.S Fann, you've been really fun to hang around with, take care of yourself okay?(: HAIRY MONK, HEEHEEHEEXZXZXZ(:

FABS((:

2009-04-30T22:19:00.002+08:00

It's nice when things go fine,
It's still nice when things don't go fine but there are people to make things better,
It's nice we all have fun,
It's nice we'll all see each other tomorrow,
And it's nicest to know,
Tomorrow will be productive (keeps fingers crossed!)
And most importantly,
Fun♥

meta(morphosis!)

2009-04-27T19:29:00.001+08:00

my babes♥

to the people

2009-04-10T22:59:00.003+08:00

I don't know why things are not working out between us. It's not that I don't wanna care, it's just that I don't wanna face disappointment. So, I just don't wanna face you since I can't be sure that nothing will go wrong.

Yeah, where are you? I really could have given up on you. But I chose not to.

Thanks for always being there to read my msn Pms and ask my if I'm alright. I'm glad to know someone like you.

I wish I never met you, I wish you never looked at me that way.

I'm not gonna aim for your expectations, cos mine are higher.

Be the sunflower that you can be,
shine on your stage,
steal the spot light,
and bask in its light.

missyousofreakingmuch

2009-04-06T21:23:00.000+08:00

i realise how much i miss you,
please take care,
ily.

bloody upset.

2009-03-21T22:20:00.001+08:00

im bloody fucked up cos of you and you fucking think it's alright?
i swear im gona make you feel fucked up too.
watch me, you fuckerface.

-

2009-02-28T11:33:00.001+08:00

I dont know why you did that,
but I just didn't expect this, or that, or this and that.

Sometimes, I should just shut up completely.

stuck in the rut

2009-02-20T22:01:00.002+08:00

With much fear, I approach the weekend. So many things have been in-your-face lately, It's getting out of hand, yeah, all because I never had a grip of them all in the first place. My ever so rare strengths seems to leave, resulting in their extinction. My weaknesses are now in competition with the height of mount Everest.

Expectations after expectation, it's sec four year, and I'm now where near reaching any of them. Sometimes, trying to push yourself isn't all that matters. Sometimes, trying your best isn't good enough, and studying consistently and paying attention in class doesn't balance the scale either. Brains do. If you lack it, face up to it. And let's all just migrate to loserville: population declining rapidly to extinction, brain level negative.

Lynn, dearest boshi100 buddy,
my hair curls more with you and my heart beats more with more lame of lamest jokes. You being here really served as more than a lifeline this week. Mush thanks, and please, chill with that junior.

*you know what I mean!*

There's this annoying prat that can't stop talking about me to my friends. Worst of all, once she's double crossed, she never knows it. For goodness sake, give it up already. You aren't in my life, so please accept that status. I've got more than enough in my life, your presence is neither wanted nor missed, take the hint.

Didn't want to type that here, behind a damn screen, but I've got to let it out somewhere. Sigh.

To all who have recently texted/called talked to me: It was really great to have you there. You know who are you, and much thanks to you♥

We're breaking apart, we resulting in what I feared most. You are stressed, and so am I. We've got no more time for each other. Living with it isn't all that easy, am I the only one feeling the pinch?

We've broken apart, we've lost it all. Our result serves as a mere future warning, for me at least. Truth be told, I don't miss you, I don't miss you at all.

read the word.

2009-02-16T22:52:00.000+08:00

imbecile.

valentine and classic lovers

2009-02-14T15:04:00.003+08:00

Happy valentine's!

Today morning was cold shower start up again, and with my long- water- dripping hair, my health isn't getting any better.

Yesterday was a lovely day, literally. Secret valentines revealed themselves, much giggles, surprise and laughter followed.

VALENTINE: REBECCA!
I hope you had fun through the whole game! I don't really know you very well, so it was kinda hard to write notes, but it was fun spreading love and writing poems which hardly made sense, heehee. Happy valentine's!

SECRET VALENTINE♥
Ohmygosh much, I couldn't believe it was you! Your name was under my suspicions, but never did I expect it to be true! Thanks for all the sweet post- its and that poem that i received before the tests, I laughed really hard! I hope you liked your present, cos I loved yours! So much much thanks! Happy, my sweet valentine♥

Thanks to all friends who texted valentine's day texts, sweet sweet!

bestfriend♥
happy valentine's day! thanks for all the sweet texts and whinings you never fail to bring! From staring at reflections to jumping+prancing around randomly, much loves to you!

icantwaitfortomorrow.
planetshakersfortwowholehours.
screamshoutclapbang.
ilovejesusalltheway

xoxoxoxo

2009-01-31T22:23:00.002+08:00

I have random things to say, but I dont know to who. So hello blog, I'll say it to you.

(a) I don't know why you wanna make him so miserable.
(b) I miss you
(c) Haevn't seen your spaz face in forever
(d) MKC duty tomorrow(:
(e) I CAN'T THINK OF ANYONE
Okay nights

ily, bestfriend♥

2009-01-30T20:24:00.002+08:00

Today was a slackish day, just like this week. CNY was really weird this year. As a family, we went to the ancient civilisation museum. I was so looking forward to the peranaken stuff, but was so disappointed. So much anticipation, but yet there was like nothing decent there.

Went over to bestfriend's for steamboat plus slacking+bonding+watching her spin and prance. And we talked so much, and she gave me a angpao. How eager to get married right! So thanks so much for everything that day. A night with spinnings, and stretches and deciding what you should wear for visiting the next day! How eventful♥

Today was so wonderful at tuition. I've now completed differentiation. Im sure to forget it soon. So I shall revise. And there are so many tests this upcoming week. And I officially hate chemistry to the max. Yes, I have no chemistry with chemistry. How funny. Hate, hate chem.

And during chem, siow suanned me againxzxzzx. I was like, oh no! He forced me to say the topic I wanna do in chinese. So I was supposed to do differentiation. So he was like, say it!

''SHUO! WO YAO ZUO BU YI YANG, BI YI YANG!''

Wow, but it was really funny when he said it. And he asked me what I wanted to do tomorrow, so I said log, cos I screwed the test last week. Then he said don't care cos I didn't do with him. AND HE GOT A SHOCK WHEN I SAID IT WAS THE FIRST TOPIC I DID WITH HIM.

And guessed what he said..?

He turned around and said to everyone that only ppl with square brain cannot do log. ANF I WAS LIKE...WHAT?!

How totally annoying right. And so I opened the door, but cos he was still suanning me, I didn't say anything. Then he said bye so damn loudly. WOW MR SIOW.

Then he "whispered" everyone that he sure die tomorrow cos I will do all the log stuff and prove him that I dont have a square brain but a rectangle one.

OH-EMM-GEEE.

But differentiation is fun((:

Oh, I told scalded my finger in the chem lab the other day. All the more a reason to hate chem. GRR.

To best friend: Dear love, thanks for all the letters and presents you made, AND THE ANGPAO(: I hope this coming week won't be so stressful for you. and dont fret about your workload, remember you have a secret weapon okay(: will be praying for you, love youi a million truckloads♥